The following are actual instructions found on
ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS: Do not use while sleeping.
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap.
ON A FROZEN DINNER: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: Fits one head.
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: Product will be hot after
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: Do not Iron clothes on body
ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE: Do not drive car or
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): Warning: may cause drowsiness
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: Warning keep out of children
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: For indoor or
outdoor use only.
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: Instructions: open
packet, eat nuts.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: Do not attempt to stop chain with
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sponsor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd Joke Courtesy of JokesintheMail.com A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: "I'm the greatest batter in the world," he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed. "Strike Two!" he cried. The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest batter in the world!" Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. "Strike Three!" "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world, too!"
"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business." - Dave Barry