Just a few important facts of life to understand

The early bird still has to eat worms.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up
in the first place!

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.

Don't argue with an idiot, people watching may not be able to tell
the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply
press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't
fallen asleep yet.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started
with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever

Wish "Cher" a "Happy Birthday"