Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful
filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF
factor of 15 and leave it alone. 
. 
Cobwebs: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare
from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your
husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look
confused and exclaim "What? And spoil the mood?" (I just throw
glitter on them & call them holiday decorations) 
. 
Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the
doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing
hand-sown play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out
cold drafts in winter) 
. 
Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly
into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through
your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say,
"I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the
shots are SO expensive." 
. 
Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy
urn on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted 
us
to scatter her ashes." . 
Painting: Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a
dirty wall with an assortment of crayons and try to muster a glint of
tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that horrible
accident and I haven't had the heart to clean it." . 
. 
General Cleaning: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner
with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly.
Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted
look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I
still don't get anywhere." 
. 
As a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie
pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a
bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean... Works
every time.