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We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are
the
rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered
"1" ON
PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's
up, put it down We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear
us
complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing
of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious
hints do not
work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving
it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are
for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one
of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it,
just do
it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither
do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just
not
worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect
an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
formation, or
monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. *** I am in shape. ROUND is a shape. ***
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep
on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind
that, it's
like camping.
(--_--)
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