To-days joke

Our family took a ski trip, and I was        Hit Counter
knocked unconscious by the chairlift.

I called my insurance company from
the hospital, but it refused to cover
my injury.

"Why not?" I complained.

"You got hit in the head by a chairlift,"
the insurance rep said.  "That makes
you a moron, and we consider that
a pre-existing condition

A little girl was asked what she wanted
most for her birthday and she declared:
"A baby brother."

"Daddy and I would like to give you a
baby brother," said her mom, "but there
isn't time before your birthday."

"Why don't you do like they do down at
Daddy's factory when they want something
in a hurry?  Put more men on the job."

 

A preacher goes to a nursing home to meet an elderly parishioner.
As he is sitting there he notices this bowl of peanuts beside her bed
and takes one. As they talk, he can't help himself and eats one after
another.
By the time they are through talking, the bowl is empty. He says,
"Ma'am, I'm so sorry, but I seem to have eaten all of your peanuts."
"That's okay," she says. "They would have just sat there.
Without my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off and put em back
in
the bowl."