A Good Pun Is Its Own
Reword
--man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
--Dijon vu-the same mustard as before.
--Practice safe eating-always use condiments.
--Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
--A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
--A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
--Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
--Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
--Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
--Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
--When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
--A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
--What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
--Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
--A backward poet writes inverse.
--In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
--She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
--A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
--If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
--With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
--Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A
flat minor.
--When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
--The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
recovered.
--A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum
Blownapart.
--You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
--Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
--He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
--Every calendar's days are numbered.
--A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
--A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
--He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
--A plateau is a high form of flattery.
--The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small
medium
at large.
--Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in
the
end.
--Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
--Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
--When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she
thought
she'd dye.
--Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
--Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
--Acupuncture is a jab well done.
--Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
(--_--)
